The last decade will go down as one of the hardest, most refining, and best years of my life. I don’t feel like I need to rehash it….the details can be found in my past blog posts. There was a lot to find, unearth, patch up, and expand. I had to look at the woman in the mirror, give her permission to follow her heart, walk into the dark, and accept the consequences of marching to the beat of my own drum. It really has been as Maya Angelou described:
You are only free when you realize you belong no place–you belong every place–no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.
Maya Angelou, from “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene Brown
I find myself no place, still. But I’m more “home” than I’ve ever been. I don’t fit into any category. I love running and solitude; mountain adventures and minimalism, while being fully immersed in the maximalist, materialist world of interior design. I am owning the artist in me and exploring new ways to use it.
It feels right to “drop the old story.” My eyes point forward.
Thank you, past. Hello, present and future.
The New Decade
Every year I think of one word that will guide me, sort of like a north star. This practice works, and I am so excited for 2020 because my word is ENOUGH.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Lao Tzu
What if we all said, “enough”?
My house is big enough.
I have enough debt, shoes, kitchen gadgets, appointments, or in my case, horses…haha. {Insert anything you want}.
I have enough in my savings account.
I am enough.
More does nothing for the one who feels less than, who cannot see the wealth that was given to them at birth, that they have accumulated in their relationships and experiences. Solving your problem of poverty is an achievable goal and can be fixed by earning and saving money. No one can seriously claim otherwise. The issue is when we think these activities can address spiritual poverty.
Ryan Holiday, Stillness is the Key
As someone who has spent the last decade finding spiritual and financial stability, the word ENOUGH is a godsend. And no, it isn’t the end to ambitions. Our best work doesn’t come from “a creeping, painful hope that this [will] finally be the thing that would make [us] whole,” as Ryan Holiday writes. It comes from moments of clarity and peace when we say and feel “enough”.
So what does “enough” look like for my multi-passionate, creative business? As always, it’s a work in progress, but this is what I’ve figured out so far.
Interior Design
During the break, when I let my mind roam unchecked, I was thinking about houses and why we want to change them all the time. Sometimes it’s really a case of one not being able to support a growing family or a couple that needs to downsize because their kids are gone. Sometimes it’s because we literally have to move for a job. But what about the simple discontent that so often shows up? Where does that come from?
More and more, I’m certain that homes are simply an outward expression of an inward struggle. I heard once that those whose houses were in financial order also had clean cupboards. Blanket statements like that aren’t ever 100% accurate, but I think it’s time we explored the connection between our homes and our hearts.
If we are trying to keep up with the Joneses, maybe we never got the attention we thought we deserved.
If we look at our living room or kitchen and feel like we need to change it, maybe going after an unnamed dream would be a better use of our time and money. {As someone who has done both, I promise going after your dreams is way more fulfilling}.
The question to answer is “why?” Why do we have the discontent? Discovering that could make all the difference. As an interior designer, I’ve been pulled into jobs that I can’t fix. The solutions I offer are superficial, and no matter how well the furniture is arranged, I can’t fix marriage or trust issues. If you have a hard time making decisions, my solutions will just be another option that has to be considered. This is why in 2020:
I have decided to say “no” to most interior design jobs.
I know, I know. This gets sticky. But hear me out. This is a damn hard business, with a million moving parts.
I will be asking potential clients their “why” before I jump into a project. There are absolutely good reasons to build and remodel. I’ll be happy to work on projects where the motives are hopeful, energetic, and visionary.
That come from a place of “enough”.
The second part to this is not accepting work where clients are asking me to come in “some of the time.”
I have tried to meet the part-time, sometimes-in-sometimes-out jobs, but there are giant pitfalls to this approach. It creates too many blind spots for me, and not knowing what is going on half the time while still being responsible for the project is an impossible place to work from. I have to catch up on what has been done, how it’s been done, and provide a solution that isn’t always ideal. Magic and vision are no longer a part of my job description. While I totally accept that there are hard situations that come with every job, I feel I can remedy this struggle with the motto: in from the beginning.
I’ll be taking the jobs where clients are as committed to me as I am to them. These people are the ones that bring me on board right out of the chute and want to see the vision all the way to the end. There will be no more paint consults unless they are part of a bigger whole including furniture and architectural decisions. And if it’s a new build, I will only accept jobs where I get to work with my “A” team and am brought in when plans are being drafted. It will be better for everyone. This way, I’m not missing anything.
I’ll also be shifting my creative energy in the design field to more personal projects. This allows me to let my artistic style run free, and decisions can be made swiftly. Stay tuned for more of those announcements later this year!
It’s scary writing that friends, but I’m going for it.
2020 will also be the year I keep building different revenue streams.
Design Renderings
Design renderings will still be going full-force in 2020. As always, I have my hands in multiple things at once, so I’ll only be accepting a couple a month.
What’s new in this realm?
Over the break, I ordered gouache paint. I’ve been creating the renderings with watercolor, which has already solved a few problems for me, but sometimes its transparency leads to color matching issues. Markers are too restrictive, and I haven’t been happy with acrylics…they lay on too thick and feel funny with the watercolor. I’m excited to experiment with gouache.
If you are an interior designer looking for rendering services, send me a message via my contact page on this website or a DM through Instagram. I have an email group you are welcome to join where I keep you up to date on my availability and share industry business tips. I also have a FAQ sheet ready to go that answers most of your commonly asked questions.
Fine Art
2019 was the year I became converted to the practice of daily painting. It helped me rediscover my roots. It also helped me untangle my art from my ego. That’s where I did some serious rewiring on the inside. While I’ll probably never be completely free from ego, it’s the best feeling in the world to be able to make art, whether it’s good or bad; whether it is recognized or not. I’m taking this practice into 2020, along with a few tweaks.
Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of checking email and putting up my social media post first thing in the morning. Instead, after my morning run or yoga session (my non-negotiables), I will be doing my “fun” work first. The creative part. The part that comes with resistance and distraction. This means painting, working on my book for my daughter, or taking a drive and shooting some photographs. It strikes me how much the urgent things aren’t important, and the important things that could really move the needle always get put on the back-burner. I am going to try and switch this around.
The other habit I am trying to establish is that of sketching and writing down the crazy or unique things that run through my mind. I used to be a religious journaler. I quit when I had my third child, partly because I could “jot” down ideas on social media or here on the blog. But there’s something powerful about a pen and paper. So I’m going to be taking around a little sketchbook with me everywhere I go. If I can take my phone, I can take the sketchbook.
Having a place to jot down an idea is also helpful when I need to hit a deadline. Inevitably, when I’m trying to finish an important project, all these other ideas hit me. My subconscious attacks. Call it resistance or distraction, either way, but I’ve found that if I jot down the idea and go back to work, it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Years ago, a friend gave me a beautiful handmade book from Italy. This will be the year I finally use it.
I’ve already set it up, with my favorite quote in front:
You don’t have the right the the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you are holding.
Cheryl Strayed
Photography
This is the newest and most exciting part of my business. Right before the Christmas break, I signed a contract to license some of my photography and paintings. This is a new world for me, but I’ll be continuing down this road. It is the start of me being able to move beyond work that trades time for money at a 1:1 ratio. I’m also working to get the equipment to make smaller prints at my own home. I want to be able to print and ship on demand.
A photo book of horses is also in the works. I hope it will be a beautiful coffee table collector in a few years.
The last part of photography that I’m exploring is the ability to tell visual stories. If you can’t tell already, I’m a person that loves to dive deep. I want to use photography to tell stories people aren’t sharing, like the series I did on construction workers. We’ll see where it leads, but it’s where my heart wants to go.
Personal
The rest of my life will pretty much stay the same. I have already put in the important family dates and signed up for my 25K trail race. They go into my calendar first.
You guys, my oldest graduates in 2021. I’m already shedding tears over it, so I’m not going to let anything get in the way of the last year I have with her. Helping the local Pony Club will continue while my girls are enjoying it. I was tempted to sign up for a 50K this year, but when I was honest with myself, it’s not a priority….yet. I’ll be all over that when the kids leave the nest and my time running the Pony Club is over.
I traveled so much last year that I will only plan one outing this year…some sort of educational retreat. I’ve usually found it by now (last year I signed up for Summit Photography workshops…it was amazing), but nothing is speaking to me yet. If you know of a great workshop in the business, photography, or painting worlds, will you drop me a link? I am looking for great connections alongside educational breakthroughs. Thanks so much!
Until next time friends. I hope you are as excited about 2020 as I am. Cheers!
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